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For fans of trading card games (TCG), Altered could very well be a dream come true.

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Cards - Altered TCG - Explore the Unexpected

Trial by Frost

Gear

Expedition Permanent

Lyra

Eat Me Energy Bars

Rare

OK, let's read some of this script. I'm chewing while reading the first page. "Kojo's stomach starts to rumble loudly." Yep, confirmed. Thankfully there are treats for the staff. OK, a line of dialog: "During expeditions, I often need a pick-me-up." Yep, I can definitely say that with conviction... Haha. It's funny when I think about it. A few months ago, I was a nobody; and now, they're asking me to star in altavista ads. I can just image what Gault and the others will say when they see my face filling the screen during the show. Blah blah blah. I swallow what's in my mouth and bite into the candy bar again. "To regain my energy, I always keep an Eat Me bar in my pocket!" Yep, classic. I say the phrase a few times in my head. "To regain my energy, nothing beats..." No, it's "I always fill my pockets..."

OK, focus, Kojo. I scrunch up the wrapper and stuff it in my pocket without really thinking. Then I swallow the last mouthful. While reading the rest of the script, I feel around to find a new bar. "With Eat Me, the bar that makes you grow, I'm playing in the big leagues!" Blah blah blah, and then it finishes with the slogan: "Eat Me: The little break for big moments!" OK, easy, especially because it gives me a nice break. I stuff a whole bar in my mouth and carry on eating happily. Wow, these are good, but they don't half make you thirsty! I turn to the assistant to ask for some water, only to see her drop her notepad with a horrified look on her face. What? I stare at her and look around me to see what I did wrong. And then I realize that I've just eaten half a dozen of the candy bars I'm meant to be promoting. Hmm. What is it they were saying about big moments? Big in what way?

In the book "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll, Alice drinks from a bottle labeled "Drink me" to access a garden through a tiny door. She then starts to shrink small enough to fit through the door. However, the key to the door was left on a table, which she can't reach now that she's small. So she then eats a cake labeled "Eat me" and grows to an enormous size.


Eat Me Energy Bars

Nothing to say about this card for now...